7 Problems and their Solutions That Can Save a Relationship and Solutions

This is, or the lack of it, is the biggest bane to a successful relationship. With the advent of cell phones, and our addiction to it, people all the time try to do a double role of communicating with their partner and cell phone together. An absolute no. The cell phone is your biggest enemy of your relationship, and remember to keep it away when you are communicating in person with your partner.

Now that you have the basics sorted, check the following tips on communication:

Make a proper appointment. It may be after the kids sleep, after your dinner, or on return from office. But you should not be accessing your phone or any other gadgets, and have dedicated time to each other.

If you think that the discussion may get hot, or you may start raising your voice, keep the appointment in a public space like a mall, restaurant or a park.

Never interrupt your partner. Let him/her finish, take their confirmation on their finishing, ask them not to interrupt you while you speak, so that both get to put their views on.

Your body language is very important in the discussion, and you should maintain eye contact throughout. Don't fiddle with your watch or anything, or look elsewhere. Remember, you are not there to win personally, but to win the relationship. Work on the same.

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If your relationship is without sex, then probably it is not a relationship at all. Sex binds people emotionally, physically and spiritually as well. So, never give up sex in your relationship, for leaving a healthy sex life is the greatest killer of a relationship. It is the greatest catalyst in bringing people close together and keeps the couple healthy.

Make it surprising, make it sudden, and also sometimes make it plan. Sex is something that is the best when it has variety, so count on your imaginations and possibilities. That hot lingerie by the fireplace – On that leather sofa in an unconventional position, blindfolded – leather dress – at the kitchen – endless possibilities. You only need to find out the ones which works best for you and the ones which don't. Sometimes make it unplanned like while-the-kids-are-sleeping-in-the-afternoon, while sometimes make it fully planned by letting the kids go to a weekend sleepover at a friend's place. Even the hallway or the guest room can be your playground!

And if, you cannot solve the sex related problems on your own, definitely get help from a sex psychologist or a professional. It is of tantamount importance to your relationship.

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Money problems can start even before the wedding vows are exchanged. They can stem, for example, from the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) recommends that couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances.

It takes money for everything, even before your relationship has started. You will always need to be prudent about your expenses and more often than not; couples stretch their limits and go overboard, when in a relationship.

How to mitigate this:

If you are in a problem, then take stock of your financial position. Stop the expenses that is putting strain on your finances. Don't just keep it in your head, face it, discuss it, and solve it. Even if it means letting go a part of your ego with it. And remember, this should not be discussed in a heated discussion. Finance and accounts are logical and are simple math, and should be discussed in the same way.

Both partners may be spenders or one may be more of a spender. Acknowledge your tendencies and work on them. Sometimes, one partner may not spend for six straight months, but suddenly spends a large amount (say, on sofa) , that sets all charts upside down.

Also, do not hide your liabilities, personal debts, credit card dues and so on. Shift to prepaid cards with credit card bin, which is a great way to build your credit records, and yet stay out of debt. Companies like www.Monvenience.com and www.stylopay.com specializes in these kind of cards. Try them out.

Things to do:

• Do Not blame each other, take corrective action instead.
• Prepare a budget and adhere to it.
• Make goals to make your liabilities zero.
• Think four times before making any expensive purchase. Do you really need it? Can you delay the purchase? Can you hire the same?
• Fix up your saving budget.
• Decide who will pay which bills.
• Each person should be allowed to save some money for his personal spending and freedom.
• Set short term, long term and family goals.
• Care for your parents, set aside a budget for them as well.

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Believe it or not, this is one of the most common problems in a relationship. With both partners working, this further complicates the issue.

Get down and divide the home chores amongst yourselves. Try to keep a balance and keep likings and disliking evenly distributed as well. It's all about understanding and honest intentions.

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Remember your relationship is the greatest priority, and everything else, like your job, associations and entertainment is to support your relationship. The priority of your relationship is as good as your life. The danger is, more often than not, we do not realize when you have made the relationship a lower priority subject.

There is an element of balance here as well. All relationship should have space. And both partners should be careful to see that the relationship has got enough breathing space and does not become suffocating.

Things to do:

• Go for outings, trips, long drives. They work great!
• Do the chores together, go for grocery shopping together!
• Relive some of the old memories, like coffee in a downtown cafe, an old countryside inn you have been together.
• Go to childhood places which are unknown to your partner (if any). For example, you can take a visit to your first school together, and meet some old teachers and staff as well.

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Conflict is a part of life, and it is okay to have a conflict once on a while. However, the telltale sign is when partners engage into conflicts in trivial things, and unknowingly enjoy shouting over each other. The best way to resolve your conflict is to change your mind set.

Talk/argue in a civilized manner, and get yourself out of the cocoon that you are the victim. You are not, and probably you are victimizing others.

It is your choice on how you react, and what effect you let have of others on you. Use your judgement

Remove that irritation. Get that irritation out of your head. Only then you can think straight

Try not to hurt. Not physical, I am referring to words that can scratch one's soul. Do not say anything that you will regret later of saying. Take time in your response, choose your words, and then deliver. You may choose to not say something you want to, as well, so that you can think over it later and decide.

Stop defending. Do not always jump into defending yourself. Try accepting the blame once on yourself, even if it is not your fault. See the change in tempo.

It's okay to apologize. Get out of your ego, apologize if you are wrong. See the other person's heart melt. Make your relationship stronger.

Do not try to control anyone's behavior, control your only.

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Trust is the key and pillar both to a relationship. By this trust you can achieve the impossible in a relationship. It is of paramount importance that the relationship trust goes from strength to strength with passing time.

Things to follow:

• Do not lie, even little white lies. They hurt.
• If you are not on time, inform.
• Be consistent. Do what you have said you will do.
• Be fair, even in an argument.
• Make a goal to be sensitive to your partner's feelings.
• If you have said you will call, please call on time. The other person is waiting.
• If you will be late for home, call and convey.
• Try not to carry office's work home. Home is for your family.
• Things might go wrong, mistakes may happen. Do Not Overreact. Work towards solving the problem.
• Words said cannot be taken back. Be careful of what you say.
• Let buried things be buried. Do not dig up old issues and wounds.
• Respect your partner's boundaries. Respect his feelings he doesn't want to share.
• Don't always judge.
• Be a good listener. Be a help whenever possible.
• Remember, relationship problems cannot always be avoided, but they can always be solved.
• Be realistic. Your mate is not a superhuman that he or she will meet all your expectations. A person is always a mixture of abilities. Neither your partner nor you have all the abilities. Cherish this uniqueness in every person.
• People are not thought readers. Do not think your partner will instinctively know what you want. Ask for it.
• Bring in humor, humor is good for your health and for your relationship.
• Work on your relationship and make it better. Do not think that you will be better with someone else, as same problems or greater problems may come up. You are together for a reason. Find that reason and cherish it. Address your problems, do not keep them under the carpet. Live freely, happily. Think how much effort you have already put in your relationship, to be where you are today.